Movie Show update

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Hey, you dumb dicks, it’s your best friend, Elijah Brubaker. If you’ve subscribed to the podcast I co-host with my stalwart compatriot, Robin Morrison, I’ve got some news. Due to some technical snafu or internet wangdang that came my way, the feed wasn’t being read by Itunes anymore. A real bummer, as we’ve amassed literary tens of listeners over there.

Everything has been patched up. I’ve splortched chewing gum over all the cracks and duct-taped that mamma-jamma to kingdom come. Unfortunately, in the process of getting the show back on the air, I was forced to create a new feed and rejigger things extensively.

What that means for you is, you’ll have to go here and resubscribe to the Movie Show. Sorry for the hassle.

Once there, be sure to rate and review the show. just lie and say we’re awesome. 5 star reviews help the show move up in the ranking and makes it easier for new listeners to find us.
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Lethal Weapon (1987)

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Elijah Brubaker and Robin Morrison talk through the seminal 80’s action movie, Lethal Weapon. Comparisons to Die Hard are inevitable. both movies were released within a year of one another, both are action-y, christmas-in-LA movies and both feature a love affair between a deranged, violent lunatic and an old, wise, black gentleman. Unlike Die Hard however, you can’t really boil the story of Lethal Weapon down into anything that would make sense to someone unfamiliar with the film. It’s like describing a dream.

“Oh man, so… this murderous dude with awesome hair lives on the beach and there’s an old black guy having a birthday party in his bathtub and Gary Busey is there and then a house explodes.”

This movie, directed by Dick Donner, stars Mel Gibson and Danny Glover… but you knew that already. Everyone has seen this movie. Babies have seen this movie.

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Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014) part 2

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Elijah Brubaker and Robin Morrison conclude their long review of Transformers 4: Tokyo Drift
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Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014) part 1

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker take a gander at the excruciatingly long, Transformers 4. This is part one.

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Transformers: Age Of Extinction (preamble)

transformers4This one has been sitting in the hopper for a bit. Robin (Optimus) Morrison and Elijah (Shia LeBeef) Brubaker finally get around to talking about a Michael Bay movie. The votes were tallied, palms were greased and we finally settled on which Michael Bay movie was worthy of our attention… It was the Rock, all the feedback we received was mostly about the Rock. We had a few votes for Pearl Harbor and Elijah kept insisting that the Island was worth another shot but screw it, we went with Transformers 4: It Got Dinobots. So here’s a quick intro to the episode because this movie is SOOOOO long and Elijah and Robin talk about the whole thing. There’s also a bit where the fellas talk about Anaconda (like I said, this one has been cooling for a while)

Anyway, enjoy… ya facking queer.

Mission: Impossible 2 (2000)

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This week, Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker watched Mission: Impossible 2: Even More Impossible-er! It’s directed by John Woo, who didn’t direct the Ice Storm, nor did he direct Double Team. Both Elijah and Robin seem a little confused about who exactly John Woo is. The Killer… he did the Killer… Right? Come on, man, look it up yourself.

This movie has all the things you’d want from a tough-as-nails, spyhard movie. It has Beloved in it. it has horse racing. it has slow motion, upside-down, dual-gun, gun-fu. There’s a part where Tom Cruise lowers himself down on a zipline thing and stops right before he hits the ground. Also, motorcycles.

Did I mention Beloved is in this?

So, as the dog days of summer really rev into high gear and my metaphors get mixed more than a jug of sweet iced tea, kick back, grab yourself some high octane, brain melter intoxicants and watch along with the Movie Show! Awooooo!

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Anaconda (1997)

anaconda-1997-movie-review-jon-voight-serone-leeringRobin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker take a trip up the ol’ Amazon to investigate the much-rumored Anaconda. Things really start to heat up with the introduction of Jennifer Lopez, John Voight and Ice Cube… that guy is still calling himself Ice Cube. It’s 2015, he still calls himself Ice Cube and we all pretend that isn’t silly.

Enjoy. or don’t, what do I care?
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Judgment Night (1993)

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we did it, guys, we finally made a Movie Show episode that clocks in under an hour. We were helped in this endeavor by some serious technical difficulties and the movie itself isn’t exactly something to write your mother about.

Elijah Brubaker and Robin Morrison Examine the bland 90’s crime-chase movie, Judgment Night. It’s about a night where these guys get judged… I guess.

Elijah’s impersonation of Cuba Gooding Jr. is spot on.
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Easy Rider (1969)

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Hey man, it’s time to kick back by the fire with a little grass and chill out with the Venusians. Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker watch the 60’s counterculture freak-out, Easy Rider.

Wake up, bro, you’re being mind-controlled by the system. I know it’s a bummer to hear the truth but maybe it’s time to drop a little acid with Toni Basil in a graveyard, man. We’re blowing minds, here at The Movie Show, or as we’re callin it this week The Groovy Show.

Point Break (1991)

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Get ready to have your point broken. It’s summer so Elijah Brubaker and Robin Morrison are celebrating the right way, by sitting indoors and watching movies about people surfing.

 

Short Films

This week Robin Morrison has a great idea to change things up for the Movie Show and Elijah Brubaker promptly shits all over everything. The fellas watch a trio of short films. It’s a mixed bag and opinions are thrown out, as always, without a care in the world.

Thrill to the sci-fi masterpiece that is Predator: Dark Ages. It’s a film about Predator… in the dark ages.

 

Weep at the dramatically taught and hellaciously over lit, Cold. A film about real issues… Maaaaan.

Smile crazily at the goony weirdness of Kung Fury. A hyperkinetic nostalgia-fest starring Hitler and David Hasselhoff.

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The Black Hole (1979) part 2

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Robin (V.I.N.Cent) Morrison and Elijah (Old B.O.B.) Brubaker are joined by Milo (Maximilian) George as they put their collective spinning propellors to the test and see if they can outgun Disney’s, The Black Hole. In part two of this review of the film, the fellas ask important questions like “why’s it called The Palomino?” and “Do robots have dicks?” They also briefly ponder the meaning of existence once the end of the movie rolls around because “Whaaaaaa..?”

So strap yourself into your escape pod and try to survive The Black Hole!

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The Black Hole (1979) part 1

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker talk Black Holes with guest common-tater, Milo George. It’s an enthusiastic trip down memory lane as the guys discuss both the Maximilians in this movie, as well as Yvette Whats-her-name and space-Borgnine.

This is part one of two because, man… Those dudes can really gab it up.

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Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015)

So there I was, trying to think of some pithy bon mots to barf out onto the website to accompany this week’s movie, Fifty Shades Of Grey. I was coming up short and decided to maybe make a list of steamy, craze-o movies to watch instead. Yeah, that’d be informative, I’d put movies like Cronenberg’s Crash on the list, along with Secretary (really, any James Spader movie will do) I’d put in Bound, Nine And A Half Weeks, The Night Porter, The Piano Teacher, hell even Eyes Wide Shut fits the bill better than Fifty Shades… okay, cool, I had a thing. Then I was going to find some appropriate images to go along with the list. You know how it is though, right? You start looking around then to get into all manner of internet crannies and before you know it, you’ve lost like, sixteen hours. Anyway, while trying to find good images to fit what I had written, I found this picture of Billy Zane as the Phantom (slam evil!) and doing a Got Milk? ad. It was perfect. It’s like that plastic bag from American Beauty, I could look at it for the rest of my life.

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Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) part two

Hey, this is Elijah. I’m posting this from my phone because I live in the god damned future, just like mad max. Here’s part deux of our examination of Fury Road, alongside imperator robin morrison. Thanks for listening sucka!

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Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) part one

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METAL UP YOUR ASS! Get ready for a balls-out, fucked up and totally metal examination of the patriarchy… Naw, not really. Elijah Brubaker and Robin Morrison do, briefly, tackle that particular internet Bailiwick and it’s connection to Mad Max: Furry Rod, but mostly, they just talk about stuff exploding in the desert. This movie is about stuff exploding in the desert. It starts with things exploding in the desert and they don’t stop exploding until everything in the desert is exploded.

keep in mind this movie is still in theaters and the guys talk about everything in the movie., stem to stern, crotch to cranium. There isn’t really anything to spoil but don’t come crying to us when that thing in the desert explodes and it isn’t a surprise because you listened to this goofball podcast. Spoiler alert, assholes.

This is part one of two.

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Since every numbskull on the internet seems to have an opinion about this thing, I’m hesitant to suggest you get in touch with us but I guess that’s what we’re here for. You can subscribe, rate and review in Itunes

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The Exterminator (1980)

exterm2Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker discuss the gross vigilante movie, The Exterminator. If you’ve ever wondered what life was like for vets coming home from ‘nam, well, it was filled with mayhem, chaos and explosions. Journey back to a time when every dude had a duffle bag full of guns and an axe to grind. One thing you don’t do is fuck with Robert Ginty. A bad day for that guy usually results in a ton of dead gang members and a maybe even a guy stuffed into a meat grinder.exterm3

 

PS, the John Boorman movie Elijah was trying to think of is Point Blank.

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Left Behind (2014)

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker have fun watching the raptureless rapture movie, Left Behind. Starring Nic Cage of all things. What the hell, right?

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Retail Nightmare (bonus episode!)

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In episode 108 of the Movie Show, Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker talk about terrible retail experiences and nightmares. There’s a brief guest at the top of the show. Enjoy our filth, wallow in it.
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Barbarella (1968)

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Elijah (Durand Durand) Brubaker and Robin (Pygar) Morrison take a look at the great 60’s sci-fi sex-romp, Barbarella. This movie is chock full of plastic and fur and there’s SOOOO much Jane Fonda. There’s more Jane Fonda in this thing than has ever been in anything. This movie has eye-candy throughout, including John Phillip Law who’s a hunk and a half. Awoogah.

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The Quiet Man (1952)

quietmanRobin (Marion) Morrison and Elijah (Maureen) O’Brubaker discuss the 1952 John Wayne/John Ford collaboration, The Quiet Man. It isn’t the usual fair for these two except for the universal sentiment “bitches be trippin’.” Feel free to Irish up some coffee and kick back while the guys discuss the film, stem to stern… spoiler alert, of course.

 

Wild Wild West (1999)

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker take a trip back into the crazy crazy days of cowboy stuff. You remember that time you went to burning man and you did a bunch of molly and didn’t drink enough water and you got all groovy and realized that we’re part of the brotherhood of man? Remember when you woke up in a strange tent and you couldn’t find your leather corset and you dug a watch gear out of your left butt cheek? Well congratulations dumb ass, we found your favorite movie! Based on the classic 1960’s TV show that was beloved by many nerds, Barry Sonnenfeld’s unfunny mess of a movie is equally hated by just as many nerds. Screen Shot 2015-04-13 at 9.17.35 PM

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Bonus!

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker have been busy and are finally back in the balcony to talk about all manner of dumb things. Robin discusses his new living arrangements and the fellas talk about upcoming blockbuster movies. They discuss why braggarts are awful and self deprecating dudes like themselves are really much more interesting. It’s a hodgepodge bonus episode, what are ya gonna do?
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Thanks for listening. Kisses.

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

 

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Elijah Brubaker and good sport, Jeremy Kemp, discuss the longest movie in cinema history, Resident Evil: Retribution. The film stars Milla Jovovich, who kicks people in the face and makes stuff blow up. I think it’s about monsters taking over the world and an underground lair and Max Headroom shows up, then everyone dies or saves the day or whatever.

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Tusk (2014)

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Robin Morrison, Elijah Brubaker and guest-host Jeremy Kemp talk about the Kevin Smith movie Tusk. Opinions run the gamut and there are some truly unfortunate sideroads taken. This 2014 film is about a guy who gets turned into a walrus but the craziest thing in the movie is Smith thinking that “Not-See Party” joke was funny enough to repeat more than once.

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episode 100!

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker are joined by guest Jeremy Kemp for our 100th episode. It’s really something to hear, alright. As usual, the discussion revolves around the two greatest films of our generation, Alien and The Crow. There’s a ton of dumbness in this episode. It’s totally worth what you’re paying for it. Woo! 100!
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Twister (1989)

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker examine the meandering, off-kilter, family melodrama, Twister. It’s an awkward animal without a lot of meat so the guys veer off into their usual tangential tributaries. It’s a little seen film but if you’re a fan of The Movie Show, you might enjoy it. Take a gander, then hear what the guys have to say.

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Dark City (1998) part 2

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Part two of the exhaustive breakdown of Dark City. Elijah “Mr. Sleep” Brubaker and Robin “Mr. Book” Morrison talk for a long time about Jennifer Connelly’s eyebrows, they also talk about a few other things but who are we kidding? This movies should have just been called, Eyebrows: The Movie. Then Riff Raff gets a knife and things go to hell. This podcast is brought to you in Sensurround, as originally experienced in the 1974 film, Earthquake!

 

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Dark City (1998) part 1

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Climb into the way-back contraption with your hosts Elijah Brubaker and Robin Morrison. Get ready to visit a time when Stylish black leather ran amok and aesthetic choices were influenced heavily by the cutting edge stylings of Trent Reznor and Marilyn Manson. Everything was moody, murky, deep and devilish. Everyone from old men to little girls were dressing like cenobites and the only way to escape was to get on the express train and head to Shell Beach.

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Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005) part two

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Robin Morrison and Elijah Brubaker are here for you if you want to talk about your childhood.

We all know George Lucas didn’t ruin anyone’s early years because he made some bad movies. We’re not here to make lofty pronouncements like that. What we are going to talk about is the extreme lack of insight it takes to make movies that takes so many missteps that nothing seems real when you’re done watching it.

One time I (Elijah) walked into a thrift store where a guy was building a helicopter in the back room of the building. I was fascinated and grilled the guy about this amazing endeavor. As the proprietor of the establishment went into greater detail about his project, it became clear he was sinking thousands of dollars into a hobby that would never see light. The guy had mortgaged his house and his wife had left him. He was fixated on building this helicopter with a single minded determination that would be admirable had he known how to actually build the machine. Once pressed for more information though, he admitted he was doing it based solely on instinct and he had no idea what he was doing. He eventually told me he didn’t even know how to fly and he wasn’t sure how he was going to get the helicopter out of the building once it was done.

That’s George Lucas.

Except George Lucas has billions of dollars so it’s sort of a bad analogy but you get where I’m coming from, right? The dude wanted to build a helicopter but it was a shitty helicopter. Look, I’m not an expert on analogies… why don’t you write the intro to your own podcast if you’re such a smart guy.

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Thanks for listening.