Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015)

So there I was, trying to think of some pithy bon mots to barf out onto the website to accompany this week’s movie, Fifty Shades Of Grey. I was coming up short and decided to maybe make a list of steamy, craze-o movies to watch instead. Yeah, that’d be informative, I’d put movies like Cronenberg’s Crash on the list, along with Secretary (really, any James Spader movie will do) I’d put in Bound, Nine And A Half Weeks, The Night Porter, The Piano Teacher, hell even Eyes Wide Shut fits the bill better than Fifty Shades… okay, cool, I had a thing. Then I was going to find some appropriate images to go along with the list. You know how it is though, right? You start looking around then to get into all manner of internet crannies and before you know it, you’ve lost like, sixteen hours. Anyway, while trying to find good images to fit what I had written, I found this picture of Billy Zane as the Phantom (slam evil!) and doing a Got Milk? ad. It was perfect. It’s like that plastic bag from American Beauty, I could look at it for the rest of my life.

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